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There are very few things in my life I've had agita about. One is my kid and two was my age ( I'll be Frank, you Louise, I'm vain ).
Now, I have only one which is my kid and I for see that will last a lifetime. The age thing all but disappeared when I turned 50 on Pearl Harbor day, December 7th ( I have a sneaking suspicion that means something but I have yet to figure out what).
Who do you want to be when you grow up? Well, I don't know maybe just the person I was meant to be and like that, it became easy. Like the Staples button...click easy.
Knowing seems to be everything as you are growing up and where does it get you? Nowhere, because our kind of knowing just screws things up since we really don't know shit. I screw up on a daily basis. My kids' schedule is messed up, I'm late for a myriad of appointments or just miss it all together. I'm screwed. Now as soon as you get that, admit that and let go it all comes into focus. Let's all say it together, I don't know shit and It's ok. These days I bask in it and I'm glorious in it. Thank god I'm still learning. My life is a mess and we have a Trump as President. When this happens I fix things, stay open, the solution comes and it works out. Two summers ago I reupholstered my wingback chair I inherited from my mother. Talk about agita but it was worth it when a new door in me opened.
Tools you will need.
An upholstery staple gun and staples
Small upholstery nails
A small hammer
Scissors
Brown construction paper
Needle and thread {someone who sews is also handy)
Measuring tape
Upholstery Fabric ( any knowledgeable person at the fabric store will help you with the amount needed but buy extra for mistakes )
An old sheet or two.
Wine(optional)
Step 1. Is key. You have a smart phone uses it! For those of you who don't.... you're on your own. Before you do anything take pictures of every part of your chair. Everything no part is obsolete or optional. (If this is your first time stay away from patterns and stripes, I learned the hard way that it makes it ten times harder.)
Step 2. As you deconstruct your chair( take it apart) take pictures and label the back of each piece in detail. Eg : left right draw arrow as to the front and the back top and bottom. EVERYTHING! ( Being really anal saves your ass big time two weeks later from the day you start)
Step 3 :Make paper patterns of each piece. Then use an old sheet to make a fabric pattern. This way as you pin it together on your chair you'll see your mistakes before your final commitment. ( For those of us with commitment issues this is a must)
Step 4: Cut your new fabric using the pattern always making sure you have at least two inches extra over the sides. Just In case you screw up. If you don't have a sewing machine, can't sew or don't have someone who sews, take the cushion, picture and pattern to your tailor at the dry cleaners. The 20 bucks is worth the finished look.
Step 5: You reconstruct from the last to the first. Meaning the insides of the chair should have been the last now it'll be the first.
Step 5: I'm sure you said to yourself oh this will take only a couple of days and now it's three weeks later. Boy are you happy you took those pictures and labeled those patterns. Because right now you want to shoot the next person who asks how much longer, because this has become an exercise in zen patience. The Dali Lama would be proud. A glass of wine doesn't hurt at this point either as you circle the monster project you created.
Step 6: Make it tight!, drum tight!, virgin tight. Your staple gun is your best friend. Also the scissor or screwdriver to take out that one staple that refuses to go in right. Next its the outside, back and finally bottom.
Four weeks, a couple of bottles of wine later and you are done. ( Maybe a few friends less as you've been talking about nothing else for weeks). Never again. Hallelujah! Problem solve-ed. The universe gave you answers and all that was yours came your way. You had no time to overthink and screw up.
It's 2 years later and I'm thinking my life slowly but surly dissolved into a mess again because I forgot that I didn't know. Our political system is a mess, our country is a mess because we forgot what we knew. Time for us to close some doors and open new ones. Get involved! Time to fix something...the couch could use a face lift. Agita here I come. Stay tuned.
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